Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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