No, drunk sperm still make babies.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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