A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize