I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm always down for nudity.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
