i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm just crazy horny about you
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
