when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
