there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
