just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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