I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
