Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
