i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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