I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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