nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
