Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
