No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I am available for nakedness
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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