I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
