i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
