No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
