You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
