no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
