if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
