what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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