I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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