i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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