Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
