this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
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