I seem to have left my pride at pride
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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