i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Your cock deserves a montage
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
