I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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