the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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