I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Be still, my beating vagina.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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