Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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