GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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