ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
