mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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