I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
