why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
