I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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