Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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