i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
