it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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