Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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