Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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