That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
