Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
