Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize