I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
