i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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