Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
honey bunches of taint.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize