mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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