I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Drunk is not a location!
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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