I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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