so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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