I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
