i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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