Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
it glows. i had to have it.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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