we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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